How to Cultivate Your Magnetism

So how do we cultivate the magnetism of the heart within ourselves?

No matter what transformation you seek, the first step is always to identify where you are. Use whatever tools you already have to explore the heart center (chakra) in the center of the chest. Use meditation, writing, music or art to discover where you are right now. Are you feeling too vulnerable? Too shutdown? Too susceptible to people, events or energy around you? Something else?

By Plismo via Wikimedia Commons

Once you know where you are, you will know where you need to begin to develop a more vibrant and magnetic heart. You can get a long way on this journey using the tools you already have so have at it.

In the retreats I lead for clients, we work with both the veil of safety and magnetism in a way tailored to the individual participants. Generally this involves working with breath, movement, sound, visualization, and mindfulness. I also weave into the meditation practices writing, art, and music.

In addition to working directly with the heart energy, We also work on developing qualities that enliven My Heroes - Maya Angelou connected with countless people through her powerful poetryand strengthen the heart such as compassion, gratitude, generosity and forgiveness, just to name a few.

One of my favorite practices for developing qualities is attuning to a role model who fully embodies the quality you want to develop. That role model can be a person, an historical figure, a fictional character, a mythological figure, an archetype, an animal, a tree or a flower. It really doesn’t matter as long as whatever you choose is the embodiment of the quality. Once you’ve identified a role model, use that being as a guide, find the places within yourself where you resonate with this being, and begin to notice the quality blooming within your own being.

The third way of developing magnetism is through action. Now I am a poster child for introversion. I spend a inordinate amount of time alone because that is where I get renewed. That said I have found that one of the best ways of developing magnetism is to take action. Certainly over the past year, political action has been front and center. While at times that has felt discouraging and draining, it has also felt empowering. Certainly much better being out there doing something rather than sitting at home passively watching the news.

More central to my real sense of calling is the work I’ve done over the past 30 years as a therapist, coach and hospice worker. That work feeds the heart through helping others. Likewise my past volunteer work building houses for Habitat for Humanity has been a huge heart activator.

When taking action the key is to keep it well balanced with spiritual practice, friends and family, and let us not forget fun. Exactly where that balance point is will be different for each of us and may take some experimenting but I really encourage you to listen to your heart and take action based on that as you work with this whole concept of magnetism.

To recap:

1. Know your starting point.

2. Meditation practices.

3. Developing qualities.

4. Taking action.

5. Rinse and repeat.

Questions? Feel free to leave a comment or question below.

Protecting the Heart

Before going too deeply into the weeds of protecting the heart without shutting down, I’d like to share some of my personal experience.

I work for a hospice program in charge of volunteers. I have found myself talking to many of them about veiling the heart as they go about their work with hospice patients. I have also observed over the years the many hospice staff who have shut down from years of working with people at the end of life. And it’s not just the dying part that’s hard. We find ourselves being dropped into extremely difficult personal dynamics and dramas. Those don’t stop just because someone is dying.

Honestly it simply is not possible to keep one’s heart wide open day in and day out and continue to do this work. So the dilemma for long time hospice staff and volunteers is to be present to our patients and their families without depleting ourselves.

Back in 2008, I had already been a long time student of Sufism also known as the “Path of the Heart”, when I came across Mark Silver’s Unveiling the Heart of Your Business (the book appears to be unavailable now, but I’m checking). I was looking for business and marketing advice which I did find very helpful but I also found something that has stayed with me and has been working on me for years…the veil of safety.

“The best answer I’ve found is instead of building walls around myself, to allow myself to be veiled by the Divine. A veil is permeable, it lets light in and out. But it’s also adjustable– you can have a thicker veil or a thinner veil as needed.

So the veil of safety took me to a much deeper understanding of how to protect the heart and I’ve used it for years. As I have worked with this idea on retreat, in my life, and with clients, my understanding of safety and protection have deepened and on my last retreat (just completed) I made a much deeper connection to the idea of magnetism as a protector.

I’ve worked with magnetism for years. It’s a basic concept on the Sufi Path, but I’d never quite made the connection to magnetism as protection. Magnetism protects the heart by strengthening it. There are still, and always will be, times the heart is vulnerable and in need of protection, but when adding magnetism to the mix the heart may be able to live in the world without so much of a veil.


Stay tuned for more…

Is opening the heart a good thing?

We live in a world where many, many, many people are walking around with hearts locked and chained against what life has to offer. They usually have good reason. For all of its wonders the world can be a dangerous place and for many of us it has proven to be quite dangerous. So the impulse to shut down the heart from further hurt makes perfect sense.

Though many try, it is impossible to selectively feel the emotions we like while shutting out the ones we don’t. In attempting to do so we end up shutting out everything, so our emotional lives become muted, taking on the hue of dull grey rather than the vibrant rainbow we are meant to experience.

We especially shut ourselves off from love, and without love we become brittle caricatures of ourselves disconnected from the great potential residing within us. It can certainly be argued that many of the ills we face in our current culture are rooted in this deep disconnect from the heart.

On the surface it would seem that opening the heart would be a welcome change, but is it really?

Yes and no.

On one hand opening our hearts gives us access to the whole palette of emotion and experience of the heart. We do want access to that entire palette but an indiscriminately open heart can give us access to experiences we are not prepared for and don’t have the skills to handle, or are simply not good for us. A wide open heart is just too vulnerable to function well in the world. Unless we choose lives of solitude and contemplation within a protected environment, it is essential to learn how to protect our hearts without shutting down entirely.

The truth of the matter is, our hearts do need protection. Simply working on opening the heart without developing the capacity to protect it when needed is not in anyone’s best interest.

But how? I will continue to explore this issue and related topics in the next few articles.

Next: Protecting the Heart

Time to begin…

The theme will have to do for now. Tried at least 6 today and they all had one thing I couldn’t get to work the way I wanted or they were just wonky. One even froze my site and I had to go into my hosting to get rid of it. Back to a good WordPress theme from a couple of years back. It will serve my purposes for 2018 or at least the first part of it. I like the vertical image. Will be rotating those in and out as the spirit moves

The rabbit hole for me always (at least 99% of the time) is about how it looks. That visual artist thing cannot rest until it meets what I’ve got in my head. Unfortunately theme developers don’t make it easy to edit. I know how to get into the code and muck around (learned that through a few previous trips down the rabbit hole) but it takes so much time and should be so much simpler.

All I really want to do is write and see where it takes me. The real question is what work will I retire into? It needs to meet my financial needs without consuming my life. There are just too many things to be doing and I’m ready to have some fun.

Update: I couldn’t let it go and in the process found a plugin that solves all my visual woes. If you want to customize your website, check this out.
Yellow Pencil